New Sign on the GCP

The sign, located just west of the Queens-Nassau county border on the westbound side of the Grand Central Parkway is wrong. It indicates that the distance from there to the Queens Blvd exit is 4 miles, but it is more like 7 miles. It also indicates that the distance from there to the Laguardia Airport exit is 8 miles, but it is more like 11 miles. This is one of those new signs they are putting up that give readouts of how long it is taking to get to these exits, the readouts are not active last I checked. If they moved the sign 3 miles west it would be correct.

About these new signs. How do they measure this time? Do they use the easy pass transponder to track people? What if someone exits the road and then gets back on it? Is this taken into account?

Wednesday Evening's Fare

I had a tuna salad sandwich last night. The tuna salad was composed of Mayo, chopped onions, a chopped jalapeno that had turned mostly orange, a dash of Worcestershire sauce, and a good squirt of  of sirrach. I put it on toasted beefsteak soft rye from the refrigerator. As often happens with refrigerated bread, which can reduce the moisture content, the rye toast was borderline burnt. I put some baby arugula on top of the tuna salad. I cut the sandwich in half on a very slight bias with the shorter of the two Cutco knives I have. This was bumble bee chunky white albacore in oil I believe. The tuna salad wasn't bad. The jalapeno had somewhat of a kick to it, it was a little light on mayo, but the flavor of the tuna was good so I'm not sure if that's a bad thing. In hindsight, I should've put a little dijon mustard into the mix, perhaps. The toast was pretty burnt, but not so much as to rip the roof of my mouth up too much, so that's a plus. I do like nice color on my toast, but not so much that it falls to pieces when any sort of pressure is applied.

An hour or two previous to the sandwich I had some salsa made with the larger sized can of Del Monte Tomato sauce. I had the idea to make salsa from this tomato sauce over the weekend. I normally get the smaller can, and eat the contents out of the can with chiles mixed in, but this can is a bit large for that, so I was wondering what I could do with it. The purchase of the larger can was on the spur of the moment, it was a bit of a stretch. I was sitting on the couch when the idea came to me. A smooth salsa can be one of my favorite types, and this sauce is smooth. It's a plain, basic tomato sauce, kind of like thick tomato juice. Has quite a bit of salt. I had some jalapenos, a half of an onion in the fridge, some garlic (from Key Food, i.e. - not the greatest, but recently bought)...and I had some Doritos, which I'm a big fan of with salsa. Anyway, I regretted the lack of cilantro but I made the salsa anyway. I tried it with Doritos, it was ok, but not as good as Tostitos, a bit too thin, and still not very spicy. I figured I'd put it in the fridge for the flavors to meld as I wasn't very hungry. Instead of putting it in a plastic container, like the ones you get for a large hot and sour soup or 2 lbs. of potato salad, I just left it in the dish I made it in and put aluminum foil on it.

Last night, when I went to check it out, I took the foil off and I noticed it was partially frozen, which is fine, I have a microwave. I don't like salsa too cold anyway, so the microwave thing could really work out. So, I put it in the microwave and warmed it up. Funny thing is that after it was warmed up and stirred around it still stayed pretty thick. I also mixed a healthy portion (1/4 tablespoon?) of the African Bird Chile powder that I purchased at the Dual Specialty store a couple months ago into it. I had a good portion of it with Doritos, though there's still some left. It was better than it was over the weekend (last night was Wednesday), still don't understand exactly why it got so much thicker. Do onions and jalapenos have pectin?

My beer of choice last night was Magic Hat #9, the usual.

I had a haagen daz almond crunch coffee ice cream pop between the salsa and the sandwich, but after I had finished the six pack.

It's Hard to Eat a Sandwich that doesn't Exist

This 'morning' I had two pieces of stoneground 100% whole wheat buttered toast, 3 slices of oscar-meyer bacon (thin sliced), a sliced halapeno, and some V8 juice with horseradish and tabasco sauce, for breakfast. The butter was unsalted, and I don't think I salted it, which is unlike me. The sliced jalapeno I fried with the bacon, in the grease.

I wasn't sure how to eat it. I didn't use any utensils, and I found that I ate most of it with my left hand, reserving my right for the V-8. The sliced jalapeno was not spicy at all. I realized an hour or two later that what I had eaten was a deconstructed bacon sandwich, no wonder I was confused.

To Whom it Probably Doesn't Concern

Particularly on weekends, when I stay in, as I often do until I get coffee, I don't comb my hair. And especially in the winter, when the static electricity is worse, much of my hair stands out and it can look quite dishevelled. I generally don't brush it until I am about to go out, and it can be in this state for hours on end.

After all why should I comb it? I don't normally look in the mirror much, and when I don't I can't see, or otherwise perceive, the state of my hair. This is really the crux of the matter. As I live alone, the only other one I can think of who might care would be God, since He sees all things. But something deep inside me says that he will overlook this dereliction, though it seems to me inconsistent for God as I imagine He must be rather proper, given all the order in the universe.

I don't really think that I can tell without looking when my hair is in a state of disarray, and in any case it doesn't bother me or affect me in any way, I don't think. For example, I am writing this with my hair uncombed, or more accurately unbrushed, and I think that this condition will have very little effect on what I am writing, except perhaps this sentence, but not definitely this sentence, as I could be lying about the state of my hair.

I recently bought a new brush, as my old one fell in the toilet. It was more or less bound to happen due to the proximity of the sink to the toilet, and because I kept the brush on the side of the sink nearest the toilet. For a few weeks I was combing my hair with a little beard comb that came with my new beard trimming set. It worked OK except that it required more effort as it tended to get stuck, and although I could not notice on the finished product, I think I was ripping a lot of my hair.

That Which was Used as Storage for Meals Repeatedly Prepared...

Consider this refrigerator, late in the 1970s, around Christmas, after dinner. A refrigerator that I took more out of than put in to. And no doubt some of its contents remain a part of me, and will remain so long after I am buried. Perhaps they will do so until I can no longer be identified, except by forensic analysis. With that in mind I will this photo to science and have therefore identified its contents to the best of my ability (asterisks denote provisions I am likely to contain).
(mostly from Left to Right)

1st Row: A bottle of milk* (from the milkman), a tupperware container with some Sacramento (not from Concentrate) tomato juice* still left, and some 'Ready to Serve' Minute Made Lemonade*. In the back and to the right of the lemonade is a can of used Crisco* for frying french fries, with a half pint of Dellwood Heavy Whipping Cream* on top of it. Way in the back, behind the lemonade, there appears to be a bottle of soda, that I suspect may be Club Soda (possibly Hoffman's). I have some thoughts, but I don't really know what's on the plate covered with saran wrap at the right, or what's in the green container behind the tomato juice.

2nd Row: Fresh Breakfast sausage* on top of what I would think is proper potato salad* and a Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer, followed by Hershey's chocolate syrup, and Pillsbury Crescent Rolls*. Behind the rolls and syrup is a bottle of Hellmann's mayonnaise*. In the Cold cut 'drawer' I see up front what appears to be american cheese* wrapped in saran wrap. It is most likely land-o-lakes. In the far left of the cold cut 'drawer' I believe a package of cracker barrel cheddar* (probably sharp) is barely visible. I don't know what's in the aluminum foil next to it, but it may be mozzarella. As for the rest of what's in the drawer, though I have some strong ideas, I will not speculate.

3rd Row: An opened package of butter* from Waldbaum's, a styrofoam container of something (oddly enough it may be cole slaw), a butter* dish, and a package of Oscar Meyer Bacon*. To the far right there is, what may be, a glass bowl covered by saran wrap, which would lead me to believe that it may be filled with stuffing, but I am far from certain about this, as it might be macaroni and cheese.

4th Row: The contents of this row are more or less a mystery, particularly the silvery object near its center which one might think is Philadelphia Brand Cream Cheese, but at this point I don't think it is.

Alter Ego of a Torte

Lately I've become curious about the Linzer torte cookie, a cookie that was named after a torte. But it wouldn't surprise anyone who knows me that it's because of a bar, not a sweet tooth. I'm not proud of that, it's just the way it is. And it would hardly be worth noting that the bar offers wings gratis on Fridays were it not for the inauspicious manner in which I came to know this. You see, my birthday was on a Friday this year, and instead of deciding for myself whether or not to go to work and surf the web, the decision was made for me and it entailed winding up at this bar.

Now this bar was not named after the torte. It is not called Zum Linzer Torte or Linzer Torte Haus, or anything like that, but its name does sound much like "Linzer Torte's". In fact, I doubt very much that this bar, or its name, has much significance, historical or otherwise. The torte however does, it being the first torte on record, dating back to 1653 in the annals of baking.

But this bar's neighborhood is not completely devoid of history, at least for me, as it was not far from this bar that I learned that one should not easily be swayed to go to a bar expressly for 10 cent chicken wings, and that it might not be a bad idea to look at them before partaking. Rubbery and undercooked, sour and yellowish, adorned with pimples and little hairs visible despite ample coverage by sauce, such are the hallmarks of the wings in this neighborhood.

And so years ago, I promised myself that I would never again eat wings around there. But that Friday a situation arose at this bar where the cards were stacked against me. I found myself in the midst of a delicate matter for which the wings, having been prepared by a particularly kind bartender, had become a critical olive branch. I should also note that I wasn't even hungry, as it was hard to have an appetite under the circumstances. I don't make many promises, and you can see why, but if that's what I get for acting like a gilded otter, then so be it. Besides, the wings were pretty good, although they could have been a bit more crispy.

An Opinion Mostly in Favor of Hatpins

I see little point in placing much stock in my own political opinions. Experts who study the issues often seem quite earnest and wise, yet have completely different and opposing views. I might as well pick my opinions out of a hat.

And while I'm not proposing that a haberdasher run for office, I do like a nice hat. I like a fedora, and I wish I had the courage to wear one, but up to now I've settled primarily on caps. If not the most civilized, the cap is without question the most convenient of all hats, convenient because it's easy to stow. I can't stuff a fedora into my jacket pocket like I can a cap. Even if it fit, present day fedoras would remain crumpled and would have lost their form after such an ordeal.

But this is far from the whole story, as my head, being inordinately large, severely limits my choices. And this, even more so than one might think as a hat that's just a bit on the small side is blown off very easily.

Pity that you don't see a lot of hatpins around these days. A couple of those suckers strategically placed might just do the trick. And it's odd that they aren't around since archaeologists even find them in the ruins of Pompeii. But that gives me an idea. I live in what was not long ago an epicenter for hatpin usage, so there are probably even now one or two lying around the park. I shall make an excursion of it this weekend.